Unbroken
by fireflowerr
Summary: The path to becoming unbroken is long and hard.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Summary: The path to becoming unbroken is long and hard.

* * *

Unbroken

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_I've been watching your world from afar_

_I've been trying to be where you are_

_I've been secretly falling apart, _

_Unseen._

* * *

In rainy days, I remember. When I was twelve, every small action seemed greatly significant.

I was walking home from the grocery shop when I spotted you. You were just a small boy then. I also spotted a tiny creature beside your crouched form. It was a black cat, frail and drenched from the rain, vulnerable to everything. You carefully set your black umbrella down, and once the cat had a small make-shift shelter, you pulled your hood over and walked away into the rain.

You were a giving boy.

I set down my own pink umbrella for the cat and switched with your black one. I remember running after you then, running to give back your umbrella. You would've caught a cold otherwise.

You turned, and upon seeing me under _your_ umbrella, you frowned. You never snatched the umbrella from me, nor did you accept it when I handed it to you. Instead, you glared at me and whispered most disapprovingly,

"How could you, Sakura?"

You walked away, but your question rooted my feet to the ground. It took me a few minutes before I realized that you had misunderstood me. Of course, I was holding your umbrella, and you didn't know my own was sheltering the small cat in your place.

When the frozen spell lifted, I ran back to where the cat was, so I could switch back my umbrella with yours, wanting to get rid of your clawing accusation. When I got there though, the black cat was gone, and only my bright pink umbrella stood in its place.

That pink was the only colour in that grey, monotonous scene.

* * *

Notes: Lyrics of "Strange and Beautiful" by Aqualung. The gloomy weather is my inspiration.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Summary: The path to becoming unbroken is long and hard.

* * *

Unbroken

* * *

_If one of us fall, the other will soon be following_

* * *

I _did _notice, but foolishly, I denied.

You were changing _too fast_.

A few days before you left, I saw you clad in black and crouching down beside a black cat yet again.

I didn't know if it was the same black cat as the one five months ago on that rainy day. It didn't matter, because before I had a chance to wonder, your small, pale hands reached for its neck.

My mind screamed out to run to you and stop what I denied you'd do, because you were a kind, giving boy. I still believed in you, then. I stayed frozen though, because somewhere within me, I knew.

The hands of a twelve-year old were gently encircling the black cat now. I watched. You broke.

The day your hands – _your hands_ – snapped the cat's neck, a fragile life broke. By the end of the day, both the cat and you were broken. Perhaps this strongly foreshadowed the chaos that was to come, and so I was able to see you the night you left Konoha. Us. _Me_.

I should have run to you – before, or even shortly after you killed the innocent cat – and saved you from the darkness you were about to enter. Perhaps, you wouldn't have left, then. But my fear and denial got the better of me and I ran away.

Who knows, maybe I became broken that day, too.

* * *

Notes: Lyrics of "Run For Your Life" by The Fray.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Summary: The path to becoming unbroken is long and hard.

* * *

Unbroken

* * *

_The precious memories are all lost in the tide_

_They're swept away and nothing is what it seems_

_The feeling of belonging to your dreams_

* * *

When did my letters to you turn into… a journal? You can probably tell I'm letting out all my feelings now, you know, since you won't read this.

You can't, after all. There is no way to give you all my letters until you return.

Will you, Sasuke? _Ever?_

If you ever do return, I promise I'd do anything for you. At this point, I really don't care. I'd still love you, or hate or ignore you if that's what you really want. I'd kill for you, or I'd _get_ killed, if that somehow satisfies or relieves your soul.

Actually, I take back what I promised. I'd probably end up crying and smiling and laughing and hugging you to death _because you're back_.

At the moment, you're not here, and I can't smile, so I'll continue to live in this empty shell of mine, and I will live because after ten long years, I realized that living is much more difficult than dying.

That's right; it's been ten years now. At age twenty-two, I can only remember so much about the memories of a twelve-year old. The black cat memories haunt my mind, but the night when you left… its images are very vague. I can only remember your back, and even that is a hazy memory. I remember you said, "You're annoying" but I don't remember your face and the kind of expression you held then.

I've forgotten so much… haven't I?

When I can remember so little, what would that make you? Have you left everything – all the memories – behind?

At age twenty-two, I can't help but wonder if you've burned the image of my twelve-year old self out of your mind.

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Notes: Lyrics of "Listen To Your Heart" by DHL


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Summary: The path to becoming unbroken is long and hard.

* * *

Unbroken

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_And I lose my need to impress_

_If you want the truth_

_I need to confess_

_I'm not alright, I'm broken inside_

* * *

Let's go back… even further than ten years. How about when we were nine? There's one faint memory I remember from that time.

Iruka-sensei gave us balloons, remember? It was a small reward after our first attempt at some basic jutsu. I was hiding myself then, hiding behind my long, pink bangs. It was before I met Ino, and I was so clumsy…

One falter on the grip and my balloon flew away…

I cried. I cried so easily, at everyone and everything. I cried because my grip wasn't tight enough and the stupid balloon flew away from my reach, forever gone from me.

You happened to walk past me then. Your eyes never once turned to mine when your hand outstretched toward me, a yellow balloon in your hand.

"I don't need it." You muttered so quietly, as if speaking to yourself.

I was hesitant to accept it, but you simply let it go, so I jumped after it instantly. I turned to thank you but you were gone. To you, I was just another classmate you happened to get rid of your balloon to, but that was fine with me.

You probably don't remember our little balloon memory, but that's fine with me, too. My hopes have been let down too much, for too long, and I can't bring myself to hope again.

Ironically though, I must be human, for if "Haruno Sakura" takes no place – not even a tiny space – of your heart or mind, I don't think I'm fine after all.

I'm fine.

_I'm fine._

That's what I always tell myself anyway.

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Notes: Lyrics of "I'm Not Alright" by Sanctus Real.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Summary: The path to becoming unbroken is long and hard.

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Unbroken

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_The darkness grows_

_The sunlight stings_

_He's your everything_

* * *

Sasuke… Will you accept my umbrella to shelter you from the rain? Will you accept another balloon and not let go of it this time? I promise I won't. I will never let you go again.

Will you… accept _me?_

I wanted to say that to you, because today, you finally came back to Konoha. I can tell a broken soul apart from anything, perhaps because I am one, myself. When I saw you though, I couldn't say anything grand or warm, let alone _smile._

We just froze, you and I.

Your eyes told me that I no longer existed in your heart, mind, and memories… since _much too long ago._

If that's what you want, fine. We'll act like strangers, talk about nothing but the cold weather, and then hurriedly walk our own ways. I'm still going to write these letters though, these letters that will never be read.

"Hello." That's the only word we formally exchanged, before you left for the Hokage tower and I, for the Konoha hospital, as always.

_Hello._

_Hello?_

_HELLO?!_

_SASUKE!_

_Sasuke…_

It hurts, damn it. Do you truly not remember at all? Or are you really going to choose to ignore me and be _fine?_

Sasuke, I'm not fine after all. It hurts. Everything about my mind and body and heart – _especially_ my heart – _hurts!_ Do I even have my heart, though?

If you're going to be indifferent to everything that happened between us and Naruto and Kakashi-sensei, and, and, _everyone_… could you at least give me back my heart?

Unless, you still want to hold onto it, of course… Without my heart, I'll hurt, but if you don't want to give me my heart back, then _just for you I'll continue to hurt._

...

You crazy bastard – I've already been hurting for ten long years, damn it!

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Notes: Lyrics of "My World" by SR-71 Thank you my annonymous reader/reviewer!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Summary: The path to becoming unbroken is long and hard.

* * *

Unbroken

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_I wanna fight_

_Afraid to fight_

_Why don't I fight_

_And make you see_

_I hold my breath_

_And disappear inside myself_

* * *

Perhaps it's because I saw you yesterday after ten long years, that I had a dream of you. I don't remember what it was about, but it's been so long since _you_ appeared, both back in my world and in my dreams.

Today was raining. My mind helplessly drifted to an image of a black cat. I took my black umbrella – it had _always _been pink… so when had it changed to black? – and I stepped outside, into the rain.

On the rainy road, I found no stray cats but you. You were just standing, and your hands were repeatedly clenching and unclenching into fists. I should have noticed the Uchiha District around us, I should have been _scared _of you, but foolishly, I stepped closer.

Closer, unlike the last time under the rain when I had run away.

I should have stopped in my tracks, I _should have_, and that's probably what _you _expected, but to both of our surprises, I stepped forward and my hand reached out for you.

In an instant, my hands snapped away from my vision; you had violently slapped it away. Your strength was enough to break my wrist, but I didn't notice until much later. I was, after all, too used to pain already.

I sensed chakra build inside you – just like a demon, a _monster,_ so before you could lash out your fury onto me, I pushed my umbrella to you.

You glared at me like I was crazy, and maybe I was, but no more than _you_ were.

Realizing that you would never make a move to accept my umbrella, I carefully set it down on the ground. I then turned around to walk away from you – that's what you wanted – and for the final time, I hoped.

_Please take my umbrella._

_Please take my umbrella._

_Please take my umbrella._

I turned back once and saw you unmoved from your spot. My eyes fell to the ground and saw the black umbrella torn to pieces, almost unrecognizable for what it was.

The raindrops glided down my face, drenching me whole, and I forced myself to walk away, back to my home.

First, a pink umbrella. Then, a black one. Now? Nothing. Nothing but the rain…

Perhaps, unknowingly, I'm following your path, Sasuke.

* * *

Notes: Lyrics of "Breaking My Heart" by Aqualung. Ahh.. rainy days.. thou art my inspiration.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Summary: The path to becoming unbroken is long and hard.

* * *

Unbroken

* * *

_Cause I'm broken when I'm open_

_And I don't feel like I'm strong enough_

* * *

It's still raining so hard today, Sasuke. Though I healed my wrist you snapped yesterday, a dull pain continues to throb inside me.

My black umbrella is gone, but in the morning, I stepped out into the rain, anyway. Somewhere within me, I was scared of seeing you again, but a better part of me told me that you wouldn't even be out in the rain today.

Thirty seconds later, I was completely soaked.

Five minutes later, I realized why I had come out at all. It was the black cat. There was a stray cat before me, and disregarding the puddle, I sat down. I outstretched my hands and, ironically, the black creature wholeheartedly trusted me and leapt into my arms. Even in this rain, I felt warmth emanate from it. In an entranced motion my hands gently crawled to its neck.

_How did the twelve-year old Sasuke feel when his own hands snapped the cat's neck? This innocent, warm cat, so trusting…_

Rain mingled with my tears and my hands shivered, though from the cold or just fear of a new realization, I did not know.

My hands gently enveloped around the cat's neck, and though the cat gazed at me like it knew what I was capable of doing, it remained still.

_Why, just like me…_

Suddenly, something cold and hard pushed me back to reality. There you stood, creating a shadow over me, and the only sound was the sharp intake of my breath. It had been ten years since the last time I felt your touch… your cold, freezing touch, something I should fear yet –

"Don't break now," your low, impassive voice was the first to break our silence.

I smiled sadly, almost tempted to laugh at how ironic your words were, and muttered, "We're broken people, you and I."

"You still have hope."

_Oh? And_ you _don't, Sasuke?_ I wanted to question out loud, believe me, I did, but no sound came out.

Suddenly conscious of the tears I had shed previously, my hands reached up to cover my face, but it was okay. The rain had washed away my tears…

Was this why you stood under the rain so frequently, Sasuke?

When we parted, I wondered if I was the black cat you broke. When my hands had encircled the cat's neck, I knew that there was no way I could break it. I was a healer, after all.

But you had just been a boy then… if I was the black cat you broke, then I guess it's you who know best how broken I am now.

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Notes: Lyrics of "Broken" by Seether ft. Amy


End file.
